User talk:Stan 'psyco' cooper
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the There is no story here page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Jay ten (talk) 15:19, September 2, 2015 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. | creepypasta.wikia.com | I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] }} 15:47, September 2, 2015 (UTC) SoPretentious 14:47, January 25, 2016 (UTC) RE: Reasons for Deleting Your Story The story was rushed, the details brushed over too lightly. There was little impact, and nothing that leaves the reader with much to cling to. Paragraph #2 is a good example, and it is early on: "I remember the day we met(,) the poor guy(,) he was being swindled by a con man(.) I helped him out and that’s how we became friends. Anyway, he also happens to be a great believer in ghosts, you probably know where this is going, don’t you?" How was he swindled? How was he helped out? Being a believer in ghosts is not adding to the story, it seems unconnected and the random information is not cohesive throughout the story. It would be better with more impactful events and more suspense. SoPretentious 16:34, January 25, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:13, January 28, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story The story, while the backstory is a more refreshing concept than most, still falls into the fairly generic 'protagonist is typing out their last moments' storyline that is fairly problematic. It works in Lovecraftian stories as the protagonist is trapped and has no other option. It also has a fair share of issues that resulted in it being below quality standards. Another note, if you use someone else's story, you have to cite the original source. Not doing so (even if it's a family member) could constitute an act of plagiarism as you refer to it multiple times as 'your story' when in fact your dad wrote it and posted it to another site. There are multiple capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues present in the story so I'm afraid I have to turn down the appeal. Capitalization: Dialogue improperly capitalized. “man,” she said, in a voice that marvellously subdued grief and anger and yet expressed both, “You (you)”, “lady”, almost commanded the archer, “Let (let)", "lady,” he said, now addressing the old chieftainess in a voice choked with pain and emotion, “Our (our)", etc. If you are completing a sentence using commas, the continuation should not be capitalized unless it's a proper noun. Punctuation: Quotations missing from dialogue. “sword, “O God!! My son…(”) Punctuation missing from dialogue. “Even hell will have no respite for you(.)” Improperly used ellipses. “this……how could you?” An ellipse is typically 3-4 periods, adding more does not indicate a longer pause. There should also be a space between those words as ellipses denote a pause in dialogue and having two words joined by one would suggest a single word spoken with a delay: “alas…don’t". Also in the glossary, sometimes you use punctuation and other times you don't. Every entry should have conclusive punctuation. Wording issues: Awkward phrasing. "almost commanded the archer", "they will thus learn the lesson the story teaches", "He galloped on his horse virtually unopposed right till the riverside", etc. Compound words should be hyphenated as they are directly connected. "fifty five" Overly complex sentences that really should be broken up to help story flow. "We belong to a martial clan, and our forebears were royalty in their own right being vassal chieftains of provinces over which they enjoyed independent authority, though in suzerainty to their liege lord the emperor." Story issues: The ending comes off as rushed and feels like the generic 'I don't have much time, but I'm going to type even till the end' type of story "The poain in my chest is unbearable I cant breathe any more my nosefeels lika plig has been shoved in n othint jmuy head is bursttin,something in mkjyb b head is WAQINY NTPOMA,M L.,;,/N Z76 GGGGGGGGG", which doesn't make much sense as a glossary is put right below it. Additionally it doesn't make much sense that he would be attacked mid-sentence and then post his story. A lot of the wording is overly flowery and tends to detract from the story more than add to it. Story issues continued: The ending feels quite rushed as a majority of the story is dedicated to telling the history rather than the protagonist's current situation. In fact, while I was reading it, I almost forgot about the framing device until the protagonist started in again. I'm sorry but this story needs quite a bit of work. Looking over your other stories, you've post a total of three stories that have been deleted by three separate admins, which should really tell you something. I would strongly suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop (links above) as you have a tendency to overlook quite a bit in your proof-reading and it has a number of story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:38, January 29, 2016 (UTC) :There is little to no connection between the story and Agatha Christie's story, but feel free to keep name-dropping and trying to play the well-read card while your messages are riddled with punctuation and capitalization issues. It totally makes it seem like you aren't grasping at straws while refusing to take the time to improve your own writing. There isn't a plot in "The Murder of Roger Ackroyd" where the protagonist doesn't have much time but continues to write anyways. That story is even lacking the telltale twist that most of Agatha Christie's writing style is known for. That story is a murder mystery while the one you lifted is a re-telling of a previous event. All of the punctuation, capitalization, wording and story issues I pointed out are still present. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 08:24, January 29, 2016 (UTC) ::You see all those examples I included above? All those are instances of issues I found in what you posted. There isn't any way the site would randomly strip punctuation, revert proper capitalization, etc. These issues are on either you or your dad, either way, it doesn't make much difference as your appeal was turned down for more than a few minor errors. Feel free to compare them to the original or the version you posted on the site. It still doesn't change the fact that there are multiple capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues. You made no attempt to correct these issues and frankly this is just going in circles. Feel free to complain some more, but I've stated why your appeal has been turned down and I don't feel like wasting any more time arguing. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 09:16, January 29, 2016 (UTC) Re: A Few Errors in your 'Rebuttal' Do you realize how foolish you come across trying to point out my errors, especially when you are wrong on almost all counts? Let me break it down point by point for you: On ellipses I wrote: "An ellipse is typically 3-4 periods." I didn't explain what the difference between three or four periods was because my whole point was to convince you to stop using them so much. To explain that four periods in an ellipse signifies an end in a sentence and three is a continuation would only encourage you to use them more. I'm not going to explain the mechanics of everything as I clearly don't want to waste anymore time on someone who's consistently repeating the same mistakes I pointed out to them (see your message for reference). On dialogue and punctuation: "sentence. also if start (sic) a dialogue with a comma or a full stop it has to starrt (sic) with a capital letter no matter what." The issues where I pointed that out above were where you were completing sentences in another set of quotations. This is a direct quote "Dialogue can be interrupted by a tag and then resume in the same sentence. Commas go inside the first set of quotation marks and after the dialogue tag (or action)." ~ "Punctuation in Dialogue" So lines like this: "“Evil man,” she said, in a voice that marvellously subdued grief and anger and yet expressed both, “You murdered my son and made your own sister a widow." have improper capitalization because the complete dialogue is "Evil man, you murdered..." and there isn't concluding punctuation in-between them. On Agatha Christie: "That story (meaning yours) is even lacking the telltale twist that most of Agatha Christie's writing style is known for", which makes this quote look like you don't seem to have a grasp on literacy. "Agatha Christies book who murdered roger ackroyd is a best seller for the TWIST AT THE END". While I will admit I haven't read "The Murder of Roger Ackroyd", I have read other books by Agatha Christie so I have a general idea of the plot. To wrap all this up nicely, you're wrong on almost all accounts and digging your hole deeper by insinuating that I am wrong in my corrections. I would suggest you just stop as you're only making yourself look more childish with each post. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:28, February 4, 2016 (UTC)